It’s Finally F*cking Finished
A Filmmaker’s Tale
Okay so the title is a bit of misnomer. Mockingbird is out of the edit, and now onto sound and music. SO strictly speaking it isn’t finished, but strictly speaking I don’t give a fuck, it’s finished to me.
Chapter 1: A Rushed Script
Following the release of Abigail in 2018, I had already been messing with a handful of disparate ideas that would eventually become Mockingbird. Originally starring a pair of twins named Carla and Sam, that idea was abandoned as the chances of finding a pair of twins who could act and do it for no money were slim at best, and the alternative Parent Trap method would at least double the production time. So I reused the character names, and started again.
I have an inexplicable interest in mysteries it seems. As a kid I didn’t have a huge interest in any mystery stories, I’ve only ever read Hound Of The Baskervilles and Orient Express once each, and never cared to revisit them. And yet Abigail, my first film, centers around a sort of mystery story, and Mockingbird is starring a god damn Private Investigator.
Running with the idea, I came up with the idea of a series of child murders, and the idea of leaning into a non-bloody horror film. It didn’t quite turn out that way, but that’s where the germ of the idea started.
By that May I had most of a script, and a production start date. An idea that’s shaky at best, and I knew that, but went with it anyway. The itch to make something that improved on Abigail was overpowering, and while I think I’ve succeeded in that I do see why rushing a script to meet a production date is such a frowned upon practice.
Chapter 2: An Abnormally Smooth Production
The making of Abigail was marked by rushing from set to set, due to an ill-prepared director (me).
With Mockingbird I locked in all locations ahead of time, except for one which dropped out just before shooting and was replaced three days before we would need it.
I also got to work with all new people, besides the returning hero Wayne Shearer who I had worked with on Abigail, and who had stolen the show on that film despite me rewriting the ENTIRE script two days before shooting (Abigail was my first film I cannot emphasize this enough)
Anyway, the first two days of the 6-day shoot were dedicated to a table read, and rehearsals. Miraculously everyone managed to get in the same house on the first day, and we got to read through the script I’d been working on. Minor dialogue changes and some direction changes were implemented before we hit the sets, that way we had less to worry about on the day. The sets and locations were approved for very tight time frames (2 hours to shoot a nine minute dialogue scene in the movie, for example) so getting all the guesswork and any improvisational work down ahead of time was essential.
Once we got on set, we had a handful of technical issues due to a faulty memory card (randomly shutting off the camera during a shot was common). But the actors and actresses all had their lines down backwards, especially the star of the show, Mackenzie Barmen.
Chapter 3: Mackenzie And Steve
A very good friend of mine helped me cast the film, and put me in contact with Mackenzie after working with her on her own film the year before. We facetimed later that week, and ended up incredibly in sync with where we wanted the character to go, and how we wanted to portray her. Mackenzie also put me onto the AMC series The Killing with Mireille Enos, who became a major touchstone for the character.
Among the two cast members I found myself was the incredible Steve Reazor. While working at a theater as a photographer, I was able to watch Steve deliver novel-length monologues from The Crucible, and make it engaging. Which is impressive, in case that’s unclear.
I took a picture of him during the production that made me want to cast him as an incredibly grumpy, foul-mouthed, tragic character named Frank (who also gets the best dialogue in the movie).
Steve is the man on the left, and his slightly baffled expression, plus the stylish lighting, led to this character.
He had the most difficult lines in the movie. Several page-long monologues and exposition dumps, that he had to imbue with the sense that he’d lived through it. Not easy.
Despite it all, in the finished project you’d never guess that he wasn’t speaking from the heart the entire time. It ended up so well it’s going into the pre-release previews.
Chapter 4: The Cast
Lumping the rest of the cast into one chapter does them all a disservice. The quality of talent, and people, on this film cannot be overstated.
The heart of the film is a woman named Delilah, who has lost her son to these disappearances, and hires Carla in the first place. Delilah is played by Kirsten Heim, another theater alumni who was one of the first people I ever photographed during my time as their photographer. It was again The Crucible that brought her to my attention for the character, specifically the picture to the left
The amount of emotion she carries in an image as shadowy as this was useful, considering I underexpose everything I shoot.
Nina was the shock of the cast. The role was gender-flipped at the last second due to a previous actor having to leave the project, and Mackenzie put me in contact with Nina right before shooting. With approximately 15 minutes notice, Nina drove from New Jersey to join the show, and absolutely smashed the role into pieces. On top of that, she was a joy to have around, and her talent and chemistry with Mackenzie is the only reason we made our deadline the first day between all the technical hiccups and atight deadline.
Sam was a tricky character. She has the smallest amount of screentime, and half of it is a screaming match with Mackenzie, while the other half is a silent reaction. Ashleigh was a friend of my brothers who had done theater for years in Reading, and brought Sam to life effortlessly.
Kosmos Xavier Bye is the most excited, flexible, easy going person I have ever met. With zero notice, he threw himself into a role that actually didn’t exist in the original story (more on that later).
Over the course of a year while writing and rewriting his character, Kosmos didn’t complain once. He was always ready to go, and brought his infectious laugh with him.
Oh also he’s a really talented actor. Imagine.
Chapter 5: Wayne Shearer
Wayne and I first met in 2016 on the set of Abigail. He drove more than an hour from where he lived at the time, in the snow, with a brand new script, and knocked it out of the park.
During the brief festival period of Abigail, his performance was continuously called out for his talent. He began acting later in life, but quickly gained a reputation in the greater Philly and Baltimore acting communities as a warm presence, with an immense talent.
You may have noticed that all of the above is written in the past tense. That’s because in April of 2019, Wayne passed away. As a friend of his, this was painful to say the least. It came as a shock, as he kept his sickness a secret, but seeing how many people knew and loved him definitely helped.
However, once the cloud passed, I was left with a problem.
I had planned to shoot the original ending of Mockingbird with Wayne’s character. Obviously that was no longer an option, and for a time I considered simply releasing the movie without an ending, but decided against it.
But obviously, “The Fucking Thing Is Finished”, so instead of worrying about any of the things I didn’t shoot, instead we’re going to shine a light on one of the strongest performances in a movie filled with them.
Within about ten minutes of arriving on the first day of rehearsals, Wayne was happily telling stories about the sets he’d been on since we last met. He’d been in a film called What Death Leaves Behind that he was endlessly excited about, and was talking about upcoming projects he’d be doing the very next week.
While he was telling the happiest stories and being an all around angel between takes, as soon as the camera was ready to go he became the dark, distant figure I needed. It’s why I cast him in this movie, and would have cast him in everything else I shoot if I could.
Chapter 6: Lessons Learned
We’re going to skip the time since production finished, since I’ve been live-blogging in on Medium since 2018. Long story short: it was hard and frustrating.
Looking at the completed project, and listening to the early music, I’m able to see Mockingbird in a fresh light. It’s a good movie, better considering the non-existent budget and time restraints. But there’s lessons to be pulled from it, mainly on my end.
First off, is the script. I’ve written four drafts of a 140+ page script for my next project. It’s grueling, but is leading to a much stronger base. I also have half a cast excited and ready to shoot later this year or early 2020. This helps since I’m planning on having extended rehearsals with the cast prior to shooting, and I’m going to be trying actual improvisation for the first time.
Second: Deadlines are super important. The film will take place over six months, meaning instead of lumping all of shooting into a brief period, I’ll be shooting pieces over time. That’s newer for me, though Abigail was split into two three days chunks, separated by six months.
And that’s where I leave Mockingbird. I may revisit the topic technically, with camera, color grading, and vfx information, but now I’ve said just about everything I wanted to on the subject, and I’m ready to move on.
I sound like I’m getting a divorce, Jesus Christ.
Martin R. McGowan is a filmmaker living in Reading, Pa.
He enjoys long walks in existential crises and ignoring his responsibilities.
I can also be found on Instagram, and building a YouTube channel, about a decade late to that party.
